I believed I was being a supportive partner by organizing a celebratory dinner for my husband Todd’s 35th birthday. Just as the guests were about to arrive, he informed me that he was skipping the party to catch the game at a bar. What occurred afterward? Let’s just say, I ended up on top.
One might expect that after six years of marriage, a person would develop some sense of gratitude, yet that is not the case with Todd. Each year, I would invest my emotions and efforts into celebrating his birthday, only to have him overlook it completely.
This year, however, his sense of entitlement reached unprecedented heights.
Six years. Todd and I have been married for that long.
Our relationship has its good moments, that’s for sure. Todd has a way of being quite charming at times, and we’ve shared some truly wonderful moments together. However, there’s one aspect of him that completely frustrates me.
His sense of entitlement.
Consider last Thanksgiving, for instance. Todd came up with a fantastic idea to organize a dinner for our families. He shared the news at breakfast one morning, beaming as if he had just cracked the code to world hunger.
“Claire,” he said, “I believe we ought to host Thanksgiving this year.”
“Alright,” I responded. That sounds lovely. How are we allocating the responsibilities?
He dismissed me as if I had just requested him to perform a headstand.
“Oh, you excel at that kind of thing,” he remarked. “I will take care of… I’m not sure, maybe drinks or something like that. Just ensure it leaves a lasting impression, okay?
I really should have seen it coming, yet I chose to go along with it anyway.
For two weeks, I organized and prepared while Todd engaged in fantasy football and occasionally inquired, “Do you need me to grab anything?”
On the big day, I prepared the turkey, created delicious sides, and even baked two pies.
And Todd? He brought the cooler of beer into the living room. That’s all there is to it.
After dinner, while everyone praised the food and decor, Todd chose to claim credit for it all.
“I’m really happy to hear that you all enjoy it,” he said. “I hoped for something truly memorable this year.”
I believed I had misunderstood him.
“Oh, is that so?” I inquired. Which part were you hoping to make special? Which is more important, the green bean casserole or the centerpiece?
He completely overlooked me, naturally.
That pretty much sums up Todd. He seeks recognition without putting in any effort.
Last year on his birthday was quite memorable.
After weeks of effort, I crafted a personalized photo album, brimming with images from our adventures and cherished moments shared. I was eager to witness his response as he tore off the wrapping.
Once he finished flipping through the pages, he simply remarked, “Oh.” So, where’s the true treasure?
It wasn’t merely his words that caused pain. The boldness was astonishing.
I had married a man who once crafted beautiful poetry for me, yet now he seemed unable to value a sincere gesture. That moment broke something within me.
It dawned on me that he was no longer the man I had once fallen for.
And then his 35th birthday arrived. The last breaking point.
During dinner, Todd mentioned his plans in a relaxed manner.
“Claire, I’m hoping for a grand, proper birthday dinner this year,” he expressed. “Let’s gather the family, my friends, and everyone else.”
I lifted an eyebrow in curiosity. “Are you saying you want me to take care of the planning?”
“Sure,” he replied. You’re really skilled at this. Just keep it respectable, okay?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY HUSBAND!
The bar burst into laughter as I read it aloud, but Todd didn’t seem too pleased with that.
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“Did we really need to do this, Claire?” he whispered softly.
I tilted my head, a gentle smile gracing my lips. “Definitely.”
After everyone finished, I began to gather the empty trays. At that moment, the bartender intervened.
“Ma’am, you truly are a legend,” he remarked. Complimentary drinks await your return. Of course, not without him!
I let out a soft laugh. Thank you very much! I’ll make sure to stop by at some point.
The families departed quickly once the food had been consumed. My dad gave me a proud nod as he departed, while Todd’s mom remarked that he could have performed better.
As we drove back home, Todd kept grumbling about feeling “humiliated.” Upon our return, his objections grew even louder.
“Claire, you embarrassed me in front of everyone!” he exclaimed, gesturing dramatically.
“Absolutely not, Todd,” I retorted. You brought shame upon yourself. Just so we’re clear, don’t count on another homemade meal in the near future.
He realized that there was no point in trying to argue with me at that moment. He abruptly turned and marched off to the bedroom.
It’s been two weeks since that night, and I swear, Todd is a different person now. Indeed, for the most part.
His unreasonable requests have lessened, and he’s been surprisingly courteous, as if he’s worried I’ll pull another trick like that. He hasn’t directly apologized for abandoning me, but his awkward demeanor speaks volumes.
It seems he’s finally realized that I’m not the type of wife who will just accept his nonsense any longer. At the very least, that’s a victory in my opinion.
If you were in my position, what actions would you have taken?
Summarized:
The writer shares her experience of preparing a festive dinner for her husband Todd’s 35th birthday. Just as the guests were set to arrive, he revealed that he was skipping the celebration to catch the game at a bar. This year, Todd’s sense of entitlement reached unprecedented heights, leaving her feeling disheartened about their relationship.
After twelve years of marriage, the author has learned the importance of appreciating each other’s contributions, yet this year, Todd’s sense of entitlement reached unprecedented heights. Last Thanksgiving, Todd hosted a dinner for both families, while the author took charge of planning and preparing the event, leaving Todd to enjoy his fantasy football game. On the big day, the writer roasted the turkey, prepared the sides, and even baked two pies. Todd brought the cooler of beer into the living room, and after dinner, he felt it was the right moment to claim credit for all that had transpired.
The creator dedicated weeks to crafting a personalized photo album for Todd’s birthday, brimming with images from their adventures and cherished memories together. When Todd unwrapped the album, he inquired about the real gift, leaving the author feeling deeply hurt. The author came to understand that she had developed feelings for a man who was unable to value a sincere gesture, recognizing that she had indeed fallen for someone who could not appreciate such genuine expressions.
On Todd’s 35th birthday, he nonchalantly expressed his desire for a grand birthday dinner, inviting family, friends, and everyone else. The writer requested her to organize the event, but Todd merely stated that he wanted it to be respectable and not excessive. She was reluctant to agree, yet she chose to give him another chance since it was his birthday. She aimed to make it special, despite feeling he didn’t truly deserve it.
Claire, a meticulous and thoughtful woman, devoted two weeks to orchestrating her husband’s birthday dinner. She crafted a remarkable menu that included spinach-stuffed chicken, rosemary potatoes, a charcuterie board filled with cheeses she struggled to pronounce, and a decadent three-layer chocolate cake. After work, Claire tidied up, arranged everything, and prepared for the party, borrowing chairs and a folding table from her neighbor, Janice.
Todd, on the other hand, did not add much to the event. One evening, he expressed his frustration about being overwhelmed at work and praised Claire’s abilities. Even though she was tired, Claire persevered in her efforts to ensure the party was flawless.
On the day of the party, Todd showed up, and she got everything ready for him. He entered the kitchen, hardly glancing at the array she had set out. He proposed calling off the dinner and informing everyone that they had other commitments. Claire felt devastated, having poured both her time and money into the dinner.
Todd, however, declined, expressing his desire to embarrass her in front of the guests. Claire felt embarrassed and chose to go ahead with the dinner. If Todd chose to behave like a spoiled brat, she would allow it, but not without demonstrating what true “embarrassment” entailed.
Claire sent a group message to all the guests, informing them that the party was still happening and that they would gather at a bar on the main street close to their location. She immediately set to work.
Ultimately, Claire’s attempts to organize her husband’s birthday dinner did not go as planned, leaving her feeling embarrassed by his actions. Despite her efforts, Claire chose not to cancel the dinner and resolved to show Todd what “embarrassing” truly meant.
Claire is on her way to a bar where her husband, Todd, has received an invitation. She is bringing in food and setting out dishes for the gathering. The enticing scent of the food draws people in, while the atmosphere buzzes with laughter and intrigue. Claire shares that the gathering was intended to celebrate her husband’s birthday dinner, but Todd chose to abandon her and head to the bar instead.
The atmosphere buzzed with whispers and chuckles, and some individuals even applauded. Todd’s mom, known for her straightforwardness, inquires why Claire is dishing out food at the bar. Claire shares that Todd chose to prioritize watching the game with his friends over the dinner he insisted she organize. Todd’s dad shook his head, saying it was disrespectful.
Claire’s mom then presents the cake, adorned with bold frosting letters that read: “HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY SELFISH HUSBAND!” The bar burst into laughter as she read it out loud. Todd feels a bit discontented about this, yet Claire reassures him that it was essential. The bartender promises complimentary drinks if Todd ever returns without him. Claire laughs and mentions that she will surely come by at some point.
The families leave quickly once the food is finished, and Todd expresses his discomfort about feeling humiliated. He raises his hands dramatically, blaming Claire for making a fool of herself in front of the crowd. Claire admits to feeling humiliated and states that a homemade meal won’t be happening again in the near future. Todd realizes that she’s no longer the type of wife who will tolerate his nonsense, and that’s a victory for her.
In the two weeks following that night, Claire has observed a change in Todd. His unreasonable requests have diminished, and he has shown a surprising level of courtesy. He hasn’t directly apologized for abandoning her, but his embarrassed demeanor speaks volumes. Claire is confident that he understands she won’t just accept his nonsense any longer.
Ultimately, Claire’s narrative underscores the difficulties women encounter in relationships, emphasizing the significance of nourishment, family bonds, and individual development.
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