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A Tragic Farewell: Parents’ Heart-Wrenching Decision to Bid Farewell to 13-Year-Old Daughter After Sleepover Horror

The heartbroken parents of a 13-year-old girl who died after inhaling dangerous chemicals from a deodorant can are on a mission to make their daughter’s life…
A Tragic Farewell: Parents’ Heart-Wrenching Decision to Bid Farewell to 13-Year-Old Daughter After Sleepover Horror
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The heartbroken parents of a 13-year-old girl who died after inhaling dangerous chemicals from a deodorant can are on a mission to make their daughter’s life count.

Esra Haynes, a Year 8 student at Lilydale High School in Melbourne’s outer east, went into cardiac arrest and sustained irreparable brain damage after taking part in increasingly popular trend called ‘chroming’ while at a friend’s sleepover on March 31, 2023.

Her parents Paul and Andrea never saw it coming.

“It was just the regular routine of going to hang out with her mates,” mum, Andrea, told A Current Affair.

“We always knew where she was and we knew who she was with. It wasn’t anything out of the ordinary,” Paul added.

“To get this phone call at that time of night, (it) was one of the calls no parent ever wants to have to receive and we unfortunately got that call: ‘Come and get your daughter.’

“We’ve got the pictures in our mind which will never be erased, you know, of what we were confronted with.”


Paramedics were working to revive Esra at the scene and told Andrea the teenager had been “chroming” – a dangerous and growing craze, particularly among teenagers, where chemicals in aerosol cans are inhaled for a quick high.

That high proved fatal for the “beautiful” and “cheeky” Esra, who was rushed to hospital in an unresponsive state and placed on life support.

But eight days later, doctors said “her brain was damaged beyond repair”, and the family decided to turn off the machines.

“They’re asking us to bring a family, friends to say goodbye to our 13-year-old daughter,” Paul told Ally Langdon on A Current Affair.

“It was a very, very difficult thing to do to such a young soul.”

Esra’s parents and older siblings Imogen, Seth, and Charlie “cuddled her until the end”.


“So in that split second, your entire world changed?” Langdon asked.

“Absolutely,” Paul responded, overcome with emotion “Our gut was ripped out.”

Langdon struggled to hold back tears herself. “Do you need a minute?” she asked.

The 13-year-old Victorian teen is, tragically, the latest in a number of Australian teenagers to die after ‘chroming’.

In 2019, a 16-year-old NSW boy died after inhaling from an aerosol. In 2021, a 16-year-old girl in Queensland suffered brain damage from chroming. And in 2022, another 16-year-old boy from the state died after sniffing deodorant.

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A number of Coles and Woolworths supermarkets across Australia started locking up their deodorant can supplies in 2021 following a rise in thefts of the basic grocery item, and amid concerns about rising rates of chroming.

In the wake of Esra’s death, the Victorian Education Department accelerated efforts to provide schoolchildren with information about the dangers of chroming, and medical experts have spoken about its dangers.

But Paul and Andrea are calling for more action and widespread change to stop another family having to face the same heartbreak.

They want aerosol manufacturers to change deodorant formulas so they are safer, and for CPR to be taught in all schools across Australia – and for those first aid skills to be refreshed every two years.

“For me it’s a pistol sitting on the shelf,” Paul said of the deodorant cans.

“We need the manufacturers to step up and really change the formulation or the propellants.”

He also said there needs to be tighter scrutiny on social media, which the Haynes’ believe is how Esra learned about chroming, “to really lock down on the loopholes” that kids slip through to get access to “adult content”.

Bust most importantly, they want kids and their families to know the consequences of chroming.

“Kids don’t look beyond the next day, they really don’t. And especially not knowing how it can affect them,” Paul said.

“Esra would never have done this if she would have known the consequences.”

“But the ripple effect is that this is absolutely devastating,” Andrea added.

“We’ve got no child to bring home or anything.”

The Haynes’ have lost a daughter and sibling, Esra’s AFL club has lost a teammate and co-captain, her friends have lost a friend, and a community has lost a promising young woman.

Yet, despite their heartbreak, the Haynes are buoyed by carrying on their daughter’s name.

“We need to talk about it,” Paul said. “Her name meant helper so that’s what we’re here to do.”

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